


i'd love to see me from your point of view

by chaoticisms



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Friends With Benefits, Multiple Orgasms, Oral Sex, Pre-Bahrain, Pre-Season/Series 01, also andrew doesn't exist, but post-academy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:21:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27324931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaoticisms/pseuds/chaoticisms
Summary: A totally platonic and not-at-all romantic encounter between Phil Coulson and Melinda May
Relationships: Phil Coulson/Melinda May
Comments: 24
Kudos: 60





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> sometime before Bahrain at the Triskelion (also May never marries Andrew...but totally works if she is married and Phil is the other man if you want it that way) (also this is my first time writing,,,,,this kinda stuff, so sorry if it’s bad in advance)

_Paperwork’s done. Debrief in Fury’s inbox. My bunk. 15 minutes. M._

Coulson filters through his emails and post-op notes, most of them are the same-old boring things that he doesn’t need to read. Updates, too long since passed incident reports that no longer require his attention, an email to say that it’s time for him to schedule his monthly physical, a reminder from Headquarters that his annual evals are due next month – the same old staff retention strategies that although he knows are well-meaning read as rather superficial. He’s been in this job for long enough, he’s highlighted safety issues and security concerns to HR, but in reply, he’ll receive a response telling him his concerns have been ‘noted for consideration’ and he knows he’ll never hear anything about them again. 

There’s an email from a retired SHIELD consultant based in Michigan, Professor Edwin, a noted former SHIELD psychiatrist, has passed away and his funeral is to be hosted a month from now as a celebration of his life, commitment, and achievements. Phil should probably go, show his face as a gesture of good-will, if not as a networking opportunity, but he’s profoundly aware that Professor Edwin was a misogynist, racist, and harasser in equal amounts and he’s certain at least a handful of blackmail threats will have died with him. The professor was a grand, professional narcissist and the greatest inspiration Phil had ever taken from him was to ensure he was nothing like him.

His phone lights up with the message on his desk as he nurses a flat white that has long since gone cold, vibrating harshly against the glass table as the factory setting notification dings. It’s May. His breath hitches for a second and he barely misses a beat as he takes his cell into his hand, a smirk already toying at the edges of his lips. It makes him laugh to himself that she is exactly the kind of thoughtful person who would update him on her to-do list, while also inviting him for sex. 

He’s sure the admin department is thrilled with her; they always are. Her paperwork is always completed in a timely manner, her agents are the best of the best, and she always goes the extra mile to make sure she bears the administrative burden when they fuck up. 

She’s clever, talented, resilient, and beautiful. He wishes he could take any kind of credit for the kind of agent she is, but even her dance skills were all learned on her own. While the others go about furthering themselves in cutthroat brutality, kissing ass, or stepping on one another’s toes, she just keeps on practicing, learning, and growing. She doesn’t only better herself, she makes him into a better person too, she keeps him on his toes and she never allows him time to become complacent. While he can happily sink into ways of cynicism given opportunity, with her on his team he’s found himself opening up to her and seeing the world as a pretty decent place.

He scoffs at himself for a moment, he’s ten minutes away from getting laid and all he can think about is how proud of his partner he is. That’s just the kind of person he’s become and it works for him. He used to be a creature of habit, but things have changed since he first began working with Agent Melinda May. Coulson closes his laptop, places his mobile phone in the jacket pocket of his exquisitely tailored suit, and finds his feet. 

He feels rather seen, as if half the world knows about what he’s up to already, but so far it’s his best-kept secret. He knows HR has no tolerance for fraternization between partners, so he is sure to cover his tracks extra carefully when it comes to the _platonic_ friend-with-benefits relationship he has with his partner, of all people. 

Phil makes his way to the proposed room with a casual gait, careful to not draw too much attention to himself. Just because it’s 5pm on a Friday doesn’t mean there aren’t still enough eyes and ears around to start some sordid rumor. He knows just what people in this place are like – it doesn’t even need to be true for it to gain traction. His phone is tucked into his belt, knowing it’s been a slow day and he most likely won’t be bothered. It still doesn’t mean he doesn’t take a moment to make some sort of prayer to whatever forces may be at play to at least allow him privacy for the time being.

He wonders what Melinda’s wearing underneath her black suit. She always looks beautiful in whatever she wears, she’s one of those people who can catch your attention without even trying. Her soft brown eyes draw in your gaze and that smile…she is divine to him. He knows he doesn’t look half bad, it definitely could be worse, and he’s used his charm to get out of sticky situations, but with her, he still can’t quite believe his luck. What had turned out as drinks after mission, catching a movie or sparring had eventually progressed into a mutually respectful relationship that just so happened to involve the added bonus of two consenting adults engaging in sex.

Melinda waits, sitting on the edge of the bed as she tucks her mobile into the nightstand and she’ll be damned but she can feel herself already growing wetter at the thought of his bursting through that door, settling between her legs and fucking her through an orgasm. She finds herself having to cross her legs out of frustration, just thinking about the way he will lace his fingers in between hers as he enters her, looking deeply into her eyes. 

Phil’s the first guy she’s really felt any particular connection within a long time. She’s no stranger to sex, she’s an adult woman with a healthy libido and she’s seen a few guys off and on, most of the time out of boredom or using them as some sort of way to distract herself from whatever else is going on in her life. Whether it’s the stress of the job or her private life (her mother), an orgasm is always a pretty sure-fire way of taking your mind off of it all, even if it’s only for 10 minutes with a decent looking guy. She bites her lip, waiting patiently.

She hears a knock at the door, he is nothing if not polite and punctual, she smiles to herself as she opens the door a crack for him, taking his hand just as soon as his foot has crossed the threshold of the entrance as she pulls him into the room. His hand fumbles behind him as it fiddles with the lock on the door, shifting it to ‘occupied’ as his eyes met with hers.

“Hey, you came.” She offers, a slight rosy blush rising to her cheeks she so desperately tries to hide. He always finds it endearing. There's a soft innocence to her tone, every time he comes to see her she’s still filled with some type of feeling of excitement or glee. 

“Of course I came.” He replies, wrapping his fingers around her with the door now firmly locked behind himself – the pair of them are now safely alone in his room and they have enough alone time for their clandestine meeting. He sees the blush and the way her lips curve into a beautiful smile as her eyes light up and he just can’t help but wrap his free hand around her waist to pull her in closer to him.

She’s moving onto the tips of her toes as he reels her into him. Her body presses against his as his head bows slightly to her height, his lips meeting hers as he kisses her at first just once, but then he kisses her again and again, each time growing deeper and deeper. He feels the way her breathing hitches as she holds her breath, kissing him back and deepening the kiss.

“It’s been a long day.” She offers him, taking a breath from the kiss. “I wanted to see you…” She trails off, losing herself in his scent.

“I know, I’m glad you called.” He replies as his hands travel from her shoulders to her hair and neck, fingers wrapping in her silky black hair with those slight streaks of brown. His hand moves slightly, so it’s at the small of her back as his tongue presses to her and he feels the way she moans into the kiss and it sets him alight. He feels his erection starting to tighten in his pants, jumping at the vibration as she moans against his mouth.

“I was thinking about what you said the other day,” she begins as he moves his hand to cup her face and he looks into her eyes deeply.

“Yeah? What’s on your mind?” He asks, barely breaking away from the kiss as his hand roams, rubbing tight circles on her back. He throws his mind back, trying to think about what she could be referring to. Maybe she’s been thinking about the other night when she finally caved and watched Star Wars with him over Chinese food, or their last sparring session on Tuesday morning, or perhaps she’s talking about Saturday night’s drinks at the reclusive but vibrant bar Albi’s, followed by karaoke.

“You said you’re clumsy, that’s why you don’t do tai-chi and I thought I could teach you,” she states and he feels the way she smiles into the kiss. “I mean, you’re so good with your hands already, it should be a real walk in the park.” She laughs and god, he’s so turned on he can barely think anymore.

“Yeah? You think I’d make a good student?” He grins, his hand playing with the edges of her top, her hands moving down to help him take it off, leaving her bra now exposed to him. He shrugs his jacket shirt off, fingers thumbing at the buttons of his shirt as if he’s desperate to get it off now.

“I think you’d be an excellent student.” She laughs, kissing his jawline as she breaks away from him for a moment to her waistband to shimmy her leather pants off.

“I am a quick learner, I’m sure you know that by now.” She crinkles her nose as she grins, pressing her back against the wall as he drops his shirt to the floor. She takes a moment to admire his battle-scars, drinking in the sight of his body.

“Mmm, you are.” She says as he presses against her again, pinning her against the wall as he kisses her lips, then her jaw, then her neck and collar, he peppers kiss after kiss along her flesh and she feels like her skin is on fire as he works her up. Her hands wrap in his hair again as he works his way down her skin, his hands wrapping around her back to unfasten the clasp of her bra as she allows him to peel it away. “I see you’ve practiced.” She adds, as her bra drops to the floor and he kisses her breasts, kneading them with his hands, his fingers play with her nipples as he kisses and nips and sucks at her flesh, moving lower and lower until he’s kneeling in front of her.

“You’re so beautiful,” he mumbles into her skin, ignoring her comment, she feels the soft prickle of his stubble and her hands in his hair tighten slightly and she moans in response. His fingers are at the waistband of her panties and he sees a wet stain on the fabric as he peels them down, his lips still working their way down her belly and she steps out of her panties. He throws them behind himself, wrapping his hands around her waist to draw her in closer. “I could stay here forever,” he adds as he places a kiss at the top of her mound, deliberately taking his time as he kisses, again and again, lowering slightly each time.

“Oh god, Phil.” She pleads with him, she clamps her thighs closed tightly as she squeezes to give herself some sort of feeling of relief or something as he takes his time. His hand moves to her breast as he continues to kiss her mound, playing with her sensitive nipple that already stands erect. He’s so good at everything he does and it frustrates her more and more as she keens as he places a kiss just over her clit.

“Relax for me honey,” he whispers against her, she feels him exhale as he looks into her eyes as she relaxes her thighs, the stubble unkempt from their mission grazing the apex of her thigh. She gasps as he places a hand, opening the lips of her pussy to expose her clit to him as he blows air over it and she gasps, inhaling sharply and covering her mouth with her hand. His hand moves from her breast, to take her hand from her mouth. “Let me hear you,” he offers reassuringly as his fingers entwine with hers again. He holds her hand as he opens her to him and her back arches while he licks a long strip of her pussy, deliberate and slow and he hears a softly strangled moan as she holds her breath. He licks again, each stroke agonizingly long and slow, kissing her clit each time and she gasps, holding his hand tighter and tighter as her back arched away from the wall, trying to gain some kind of traction, while her legs almost give out from underneath herself.

“You’re so beautiful, so incredibly beautiful.” He tells her, kissing her clit, her pussy, and her thighs, his eyes meeting hers while he continues to hold her hand. “You’re the most talented, intelligent, and incredible woman I have ever met,” he tells her as he kisses her pussy again and she inhales sharply, the insides of her thighs slick now with her own juices as his mouth laps at her core. “I wish I could stay here forever, just make you feel good. You deserve this May, I want to make you feel so good.” He repeats, and she moans, keening with a high-pitched noise as his mouth wraps around her clit.

“Oh god, Phil— shit,” she says as she’s lost for words. She has her partner, and in some way, her superior, on his knees in front of her, practically worshiping her and she can’t think of anything to say as her mind is overrun, filled with pleasure. She holds onto his hand tightly as he sucks and carefully nips at her clit, kissing and teasing her. His hand pulls her further into him and she closes her eyes as her back arches further away from the wall. His hand rubs small circles on her thighs. Her moans have turned into a keening whine, growing higher and higher in pitch as he works her up and her mind is almost entirely blank now.

He moans against her, the vibrations of his voice sending a shudder as she moans his name, with a sharp inhale. “Oh god, Phil— Phil…” she repeats, not sure what she’s trying to say because the words just won’t form and it feels like her legs are jelly. “Phil, please—,” she says, not sure what she’s begging him for, but she repeats her words “Phil… Phil, please—,” he pauses for a moment at her thighs.

“Are you alright, Melinda?” He looks at her, he sees that her eyes are fixed on the ceiling as her thighs tremble. “May, look at me…?” He asks of her, placing a careful kiss at her mound and she quakes again and moans, her eyes fix on his.

“I’m gonna come, Phil.” She whines, her knuckles whiten as her eyes fix on the erection in his boxers. He’s working her up so quickly and she can’t help but feel guilty for a moment that she’s on the receiving end of all this pleasure, but she can barely make sense of anything as he licks another strip, his tongue firm as it plays with her swollen clit.

“That’s alright, Mel. You can come.” He says, focusing on her solely.

She keens, high pitched. “Oh god, Phil, I’m gonna come.” He doubles down on his ministrations, focusing on her and her alone.

“Come for me, Mel.” He says, the rasping vibrations of his words sending her over the edge as she says his name again, but it’s lost in a breathless moan as his hand holds her in place to keep her upright as she rocks against his mouth, as she comes.

“Phil— I… oh god,” she says, words almost entirely senseless now. He peppers her mound with kisses all over, still holding onto her with such gentle care as she comes against him. Her orgasm feels as if it lasts for a lifetime, she pants and inhales heavily as she finally comes down from it. “That was incredible…” she says, as his mouth returns to her pussy to lick a long stripe, sucking at her clit again as the hand that held her upright now moves lower and he places one finger in as he hears her gasp when she’s adjusted he places another finger in her.

“I want you to come for me again, honey,” he says as his fingers fuck her and she squirms under his grasp.

“What about you? You’re getting nothing out of this. I’m the one getting mind-blowing orgasms and you’re on your knees.” She says, writhing as he works her up again.

“Trust me, I’m getting plenty out of this. You’re so beautiful, you taste so good.” He tells her, fucking her with his fingers as he sucks on her clit. She feels like she’s hurtling towards her orgasm at speed now, she is holding her breath as she forgets to breathe as she feels her next orgasm growing in the pit of her stomach already.

“I’m gonna come again,” she says, as if she has to warn him, she can feel him smile against her thigh as he kisses the inside of her thigh. Behind them, his phone buzzes and she hears him grumble between her legs. “You should get that,” she says, her words high in pitch as she moans between words.

“It can wait, we’re busy.” He offers, soothing her as his hand disentangles from hers so he can knead her breasts again, rolling her nipple between his thumbs and she doesn’t even have time to argue with him to any other outcome as her orgasm sneaks up on her and she presses herself against his mouth, her hands covering her mouth to stop anyone from hearing her as she comes violently against him. “That’s it, baby, come for me.” He soothes her, pressing kisses against her stomach as she comes, his phone barely interrupting her as her mind unable to focus on anything other than the white-hot pleasure that seems to fill her. If anyone else had called her pet names like baby and honey, she would’ve had them choking on their words in seconds. Phil was always the exception and he reveled in it. 

As she comes down, he licks the cum from her pussy, lapping at her core, which seems to trigger another orgasm that follows hot on the heels of another. She gasps, chest heaving as she comes for the third time and his hands grasp at her waist to guide her safely onto the ground as her legs give-way. Her mouth meets his, as she tastes herself on his lips, kissing him deeply.

Phil holds her in his arms as she rests on his lap, boneless. He kisses her in response as she has landed herself awkwardly on his clothed thigh, her wet pussy against the material of his pants and it makes her pussy tingles again. Her arms anchor themselves around his neck again, her eyes fixed on hers. “You are so good at this,” she says as if she feels obliged to provide some sort of commentary and it only makes him smile. She shifts herself on his lap, but it sets some sort of spark in her core, his hands move to her waist as her back arched again as she rocks himself back and forth on his thigh, fucking herself on his leg, rubbing herself closer and closer to her orgasm. His phone beeps again, but she truly couldn’t care less as she chases her orgasm, his hands on her hips stabilize her as he keeps in her place, mesmerized by her darkening brown eyes, his lips at her neck as his teeth nip at the skin along her jawline.

“That’s it, my love, you’re so beautiful. I could come just from watching you fuck yourself like this.” His lips are so close to her ear, her mind is hazy from her earlier orgasms but it drives her closer and closer to the edge.

“Phil, I’m so close…” she keens again to him, her arms on his shoulders, her nails digging into his skin as she continues to grind herself against him, moving forwards and backward rhythmically.

“I never knew you had it in you, I wish you could see yourself – getting yourself off, fucking my thigh.” He whispers in her ear, she feels the heat of his breath on her skin and it sends a final tingle down her spine as she stops with a deep inhale, holding herself as she comes again, he moves so he can watch how her face twists with absolute pleasure as she comes and he loves watching her… he smiles as she finally collapses into him, leaning over his shoulder as he kisses her on the forehead. “You did so good, Mel.” He says, commending her and she feels as if she needs to tell him he isn’t so bad, but it’s like she’s completely suspended in time, she’s completely run out of energy.

She kisses him on the lips as she comes down from her orgasm and he smiles at her. “I need to go, whoever is calling me...it’s gotta be urgent,” he says, reluctantly, wishing he could stay here with her forever in their own little corner.

“I know,” she says. She’s filled with regret, she’s the only one who’s come, she knows she'll owe him… she wishes he didn’t have to leave. “I’m sorry, Phil.” He sees the way her face has turned, sees that sadness in her eyes. His hand moves to cup her cheek; he plays with a stray strand of hair, brushing it away from her face.

“Hey, hey,” he begins, pressing a kiss to her lips, then her cheek and her forehead. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for, this just means we’ll have to meet up again. That’s a pretty good thing if you ask me.” He grins and she sighs softly, she loves his smile, and even though she wishes she could sleep in his arms and they could forget all about the world – she knows he has to go.

“This weekend, let’s go for dinner, then maybe I can beat you at Scrabble and we can watch a movie…and...maybe pick up where we left off?” She offers, climbing off his thigh as he helps her, her legs still shake as she stands, starting to pick up her discarded clothes from the floor. His smile widens at her suggestion.

“I like that idea, this weekend sounds good.”

“I like that idea too.” His heart sings as she smiles in return. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil takes Melinda on a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had some requests to write an update, so here it is. Hope you guys like it!

Phil had chosen a quiet little spot at the restaurant; he’d diligently called ahead to reserve a table and even though he’d sent Melinda a text saying to be there for around 8pm, he’d found that his usually calm reserve had been infiltrated by the threat of nerves and had found himself there almost half an hour earlier. He fiddled with his shirt buttons idly, trying to decide if one button-down was too formal, or if two buttons down were too much on show, or maybe even three buttons down were the casual medium he should be going for. He caught his reflection in a mirror hanging from the wall, fixing and unfixing his buttons. Too casual, far too casual, too formal—

“Hi,” Melinda interrupted his thought, his hand quickly dropped from his collar. “This seat taken?” She joked although the words didn’t quite come out as casually as she’d expect as it dawned on her that she was feeling nervous. There was a long moment of silence, it took a moment for Phil to realize the quiet but she had taken his breath away and left him speechless. He shook his head quickly.

“Yeah, the waiter and I were having a lovely little candlelit dinner for two,” he replied, finding his feet quickly. He pulled her chair out, embracing her for a quick hug as he placed a kiss on her cheek. “You look…” He searched for the words, but nothing seemed to come out. “Stunning. You look stunning.” He finally said as she took her seat, he shuffled her in.

“Uh, thank you.” She replied, playing with her hair, putting a stray strand behind her ear. “I, uh, didn’t know what to wear. I haven’t really done this in a while, so I just...” She trailed off with a nervous chuckle.

“You look incredible.” He remarked again, sitting opposite from her. She dipped her head, all of a sudden feeling bashful in his presence.

“You don’t look too bad yourself.” She replied, the words stumbling over themselves. “You look just like you do at work…great.” She explained, suddenly realizing she’d just complimented his work-wear to boot. He always was stylish, suave, and charismatic— she caught herself as her mind began to wander. “This is a nice place…” she paused. “Is this weird?”

He let go of a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “Do you want to ditch for a walk and ice cream instead?”

“Yes, please.” She sighed in relief. “I think I know a spot.” She replied, he placed money under the cutlery and took her hand, waving the waiter goodbye.

“Have you ever been to Australia before?” He asked as she took his arm, walking down the street at his side. He slowed his step down deliberately, noticing that she’d chosen to wear some thinly heeled court shoes.

She shook her head. “Didn’t travel as a kid, haven’t been stationed there yet, either. You?” 

“No. I’ve been reading about the outback. Would be a good place to retire.” 

“Thinking about retirement already, old man?” She pokes his chest. 

He rolled his eyes, “I’m not old! Thinking about the future is completely normal. Not everyone has figured out how to stop aging, Melinda.” 

He allowed himself to be tugged by her to a shop window. The place sold confectionery, candies, and chocolates and he saw the way her eyes lit up. “I’ll have the raspberry gelato please.”

“Can I get a pot of chocolate chip cookie dough, please? Thanks.” She decided, as he searched through his pocket for his wallet she slid a $20 bill. “Thanks again.”

“I can pay.” He commented, putting his wallet back.

“You always pay, besides soon enough someone is going to think you’re some sort of a sugar daddy. I’m just setting the record straight.”

“Wow, _sugar daddy_? You’re a month younger than me!” He chuckled as she took the gelato. They walked for a short distance, he listened to her intently as she explained her way of thinking, small tidbits about her past. He realized at the moment that she’d never really told him all that much about herself before, yet now she spoke to him like he was an open book.

“This looks like a decent place to sit,” she decided, sitting on a park bench just beneath an apple tree, ahead of them was a small duck pond.

His hand trailed along her arm, to her shoulders. “You’re cold. Here, take this. It’s chilly tonight.” He said, draping his jacket over her shoulders, rubbing her arm gently over the suit jacket.

“Thanks.” She agreed, patting the seat for him to sit next to her. The moonlight shone on the water, it was hardly late, and yet there was almost no one around, aside from the odd dog walker or runner, a handful of teenagers. “Never thought we’d get a night like this, somewhere as pretty as this, in DC. There’s always so much happening, even when nothing is happening.” She commented.

He nodded his head in agreement. “Wisconsin was a bit like this. Before my mom died, we used to feed the ducks together after school. They were definitely simpler times, we didn’t have much, but we had each other and that was plenty.”

“You’re a real family man. I would’ve imagined you’d have a big family or something.”

“You’ve been thinking about me, have you?” He asked, half a smirk as she fell over her words.

“No, I— well, I. Shut up.” She hit his arm playfully, scooting in closer to him so her head rested on his shoulder. “I just imagined you as maybe a middle child, you’re terrible at sharing, with brothers and and a sister.”

“Really? I am not that bad at sharing.”

“You are.” She smiled, dipping her spoon into his gelato for a taste.

“You know if you wanted to try the raspberry flavor, you could’ve asked for it.”

“I just wanted to try yours.”

“That works for me.” He laughed. “Good?”

He put his arm around her, placing his head on top of hers; he held her gelato as she ate his. He smiled as he watched her. He wondered if she would tell him more about herself, but he was cautious to not pry, he didn’t want to push her or make her think of anything she didn’t want to remember. “I was always pretty amazed by you when we first met. You were this super-cool, clever, brilliant—”

“Could kick your ass,” she interjected with a laugh.

“Oh, definitely could kick my ass. You are such an incredible agent and specialist and I just wanted to be around you whenever I could, to learn anything from you I could.”

“You make me a better agent, Melinda. Everything I learn is because of you.” She pulled away from him lightly, turning her head to look into his eyes. The way the moonlight seemed to reflect on her eyes, they shone now as he looked at her. “You are a brilliant agent, the most intelligent and aware woman I’ve ever met. You’re beautiful.” He placed a hand on her cheek, leaning in to kiss her. He held her, until she pulled away and rested her head against his chest, her arms wrapped around his neck.

“I could stay here forever.” She told him. _I think I’m falling in love with you_ , she thought.

“Me too.” 

* * *

“Hey, have you seen my toothbrush?” Melinda calls out from the bathroom. “I’m pretty sure I left a spare here. It’s blue.”

“Check under the sink, I put your things on your shelf. After I nearly showered with your soap, I started keeping your things separately.” Phil responds, shouting back to her from the kitchen where he chops the ingredients for his post-run smoothie.

“I have a shelf?” She asked, peering into the cupboard.

“Of course you do, you keep leaving things here all the time, and seeing as you end up coming here after work most days, I figured it was probably time to make room for some of your things.”

“You have a shelf for me.” She murmurs.

“It’s functional too, if we both go to work smelling like your soap, everyone will know we’re sleeping together. I already have to cover up your tea smell.”

“Do people really pay attention to the smell of soap?”

“You’d be surprised. Besides, you always use the same soap. It’s hardly a coincidence, you’re the only one I know who uses lavender-citrus scented soap.”

“I like it. People say lavender is supposed to be relaxing.” She reaches down, collecting her toothbrush. “Do you have a shirt I can borrow?” She calls out to him, words muffled by the toothbrush in her mouth.

“Any particular one?”

“Just a t-shirt please.”

He appears in the doorway, he knocks on the door and she turns around. He’s got his eyes scrunched closed as he blindly holds out his Captain America t-shirt to her.

“You can look, you know?” He opens one eye carefully, then the other. “Hey, my hair tie snagged. You don’t have a spare one or an elastic band maybe?” She asks.

“Uh, I think there’s maybe a spare in the medicine cabinet. Audrey used to leave them here all the time. I don’t know why I never really got rid of them, it just feels strange to put someone else’s stuff in the trash, I suppose.” He muses aloud. He sees her expression shift carefully, she’d never really thought about Audrey being here, sleeping in his bed, or showering in his bathroom. Audrey seems like such a far cry from who she is and for a moment as she stands in his bathroom with his towel wrapped around her as she reaches for his t-shirt to wear, she feels vastly unimportant and out of her depth. 

“Oh, thanks. I’ll look in a minute.” Her gut wrenches slightly as she thinks about it for a moment and she’s lost in thought silently as she turns away from him, looking at his reflection in the background as she carries on brushing her teeth. She’s part of his world and it’s a surreal pedestal to be on, she feels like she’s been promoted far beyond her rank. She doesn’t belong here. His home is smart, suave, and expensive. Everything he owns is purposeful in its design, while her home is empty except with things she’s picked up over the years that one way or another, she’s ended up keeping just in case she ever needs them again. 

She’s become friends with her partner who significantly outranks her; she’s slept with him on more than one occasion and enjoyed it. But now more than all of that, she enjoys the time she gets to spend with him. She feels like by his side, she can shine her brightest and he only helps her to grow. He has taught her and for it, she has matured and learned how to be a better agent and a better human being, taking less of a hit against her own stability and wellbeing every time something tragic is pushed through their missions.

Melinda feels a sinking in the pit of her belly, as the realization that she often tries to push aside is pushed to the forefront of her mind again. For all the times they hang out together, work together or sleep together it still just isn’t quite enough. She wants to convey to him his meaning to her, but there aren’t any words that she can use. It’s enough to be in love with an agent that outranks you, but it’s another kettle of fish to say I love you to an agent that outranks you.

She rinses her mouth, placing the toothbrush on the side. As she does so, he takes her by the hand. “None of them compare to you, I hope you know that.” He tells her, earnestly. Her hand shifts and her fingers wrap around his.

“I feel like I’m where I shouldn’t be.”

“I want you to be right here, I always want you to be here. You don’t have anyone to compare yourself to, Melinda. Just being you is enough.” He tells her, placing his lips at her shoulder, peppering kisses along her collarbone, to the nape of her neck.

“I’m not sophisticated.”

“You are,” he interrupts her. Her breathing changes, her breaths are slower, harsher.

“I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes, with whatever this is.” 

“You’re stepping on no-one’s toes. I want you here.” He reassures, taking her hips in his hands, turning her to face him. Her flesh feels like it’s on fire when he takes her like this when he stands so close to her. His lips press against hers, kissing over and over, moving along the line of her jaw, she throws her head back, allowing him more access to her neck. She tugs softly at the towel wrapped around her, unwinding it from herself to expose herself to him. His hands roam her body, he wants to take every inch of her in because she’s the most incredible and beautiful woman he’s ever laid eyes on and he doesn’t want to let go, for fear that she’ll just vanish before his eyes like a daydream.

Phil lifts her from the ground with a swift move, his lips not leaving her neck and she moans freely as he lavishes her with kisses and attention, her hands wrapping around his neck, fingertips tangle in the mess of his head that’s still damp from his shower.

“Take your shirt off,” she asks and he obliges, but not before pressing a long, deep kiss against her lips. She grasps at anything around her, anything she can get leverage on, and a brush clatter from the surface of the island and he doesn’t even notice as he takes in every part of him. Her hands wrap around his back and her fingers dig into him, pulling him closer in as he showers her with attention.

“One moment,” he tells her as he fumbles with his pants and boxers, it’s like he can’t scoot out of them fast enough so that he can return to her. She smells of lavender and a sweet musky perfume that he can’t quite put his finger on, everything about her is a delight to him and he feels himself harden at the sight of her. “Are you alright?” He asks, pressing kisses against her breast, teasing her nipples with his hands, moving to wrap his mouth around them and she moans in reply. Her back is arched away now, pressing herself further into his embrace and she’s thankful for the hand he places at the small of her back because she feels boneless.

“I’m… oh— Phil, I’m fine.” She offers, trying to string a sentence together but instead it just all comes out as completely garbled nonsense. She can feel that he’s smiling against her skin, he’s enjoying the way she writhes underneath him. His hand trails lower, making tiny circles from her knees to her thighs, massaging her and she feels that dull ache for more already. Her hand takes his, guiding it to her pussy because she’ll be damned if she’s waiting any longer for him to touch her where she needs it most. She holds his hand there in place, he presses his fingers firmly against her clit as she moves her body rhythmically against his hand, he lets her guide him.

His fingers work at the wetness of her entrance as she moans freely, her breaths short as sharp as he swears her moaning alone could get him off. Her hand roams his chest as she works herself up, getting herself off on his hand. His finger slides into her entrance and once she’s adjusted another joins it as he fucks her carefully at the pace she sets, the heel of his palm hitting her clit as his fingers roam inside her. “Phil—oh, god. Shit, Phil, I’m gonna come.” She warns him.

“That’s fine honey, whenever you’re ready you can come. You look so beautiful right now.

“Phil… oh, god.” She keened, pressing herself against him as she came loudly, her thighs trembling, her grasp on him tightening even more so as he held her while she rode her way through it.

“Are you alright?” He asked, pressing kisses against her neck, along the line of her hair.

“Yes I’m good, that was incredible.” She spoke softly, breathless, her chest seemed to heave as she laughed slightly. “Really good, you could have a career in this, if Shield doesn’t pan out for you.” She teased him, he laughed, his voice rumbling against his skin. “I want…”

“What do you want?” He asked, tentatively, still showering her with kisses.

“I want you to take me, like this. Right now, on the countertop.” She added, almost abashed at the words that seemed to come from her mouth.

“I can do that,” he replies carefully. “You’re not too tired?”

“No, no.”

He pressed her thighs apart, spreading her open for him, kissing her thighs before pressing his dick into her, she was hot and tight and her walls clamped around him as he lifted her to the edge of the countertop as she wrapped her legs around him.

He thrust into her carefully, with long, meaningful strokes, taking in the look on her face as she was building up to another orgasm.

“By the way,” she started, interrupted by a sharp gasp as he hit the sensitive spot inside her, her hand shifting to rub circles on her clit, his hand tenderly massaging her back. “That upgrade you told me about… you’re right, the mechanical replacement on the Bus does sound good. Maybe not cost-effective, but better for operative outcomes.”

“That’s what you’re thinking about right now?” He laughed and she laughed in return, placing a careful kiss on his nose, then on his lips, at his jaw and ear.

“No, I was thinking about you actually.”

“Me?”

“We’re having sex right now, Phil. Did you expect me to be thinking about the Eiffel Tower? Oh—Oh god, Phil. Right there.” He thrust upwards, more deliberately, watching her expression shift, the way she furrows her brow, the small beads of sweat as he wore her out.

“You were just talking about upgrades and you’re a mystery to me.”

“I’m not that mysterious.” She retorts, hesitating for a moment as a moan wracks her. “I’m really close Phil.”

“You’re a beautiful mystery and I’d do anything to learn more about you. I want to know everything you’re willing to tell me about yourself.” She smiled, but then she’s digging her nails into his skin, her face contorted into pleasure as she pants and moans, he relishes in the way she tightens around him, the way her thighs around his waist quiver as he fucks her through it. “It’s alright, I’ve got you. I won’t let go.”

“Oh. Just there I… I think I really care about you… And I don’t know what else I should say.”

“I know you do. It’s alright.” He soothes as she comes down from her orgasm, just as he feels that tight coiling in the pit of his belly. “I’m- Melinda. Oh god, you drive me crazy, and even when we’re not together, I think about you all the time. I wonder what you’re doing, what you’re thinking. I want to be here for you.” He rumbles against her skin, she feels the slight unevenness of his skin late at night, that slight scratch of stubble as he comes.

For a moment after, they stay just like that, he holds her in his arms, he inhales deeply and takes in that sweet musky lavender, the way her hair falls over her shoulders, that pinkness to her lips.

“Are you alright?” He asks, sincerely, examining her face as she slowly disentangles himself from her, she laughs breathlessly.

“Yes, god, I don’t think I can walk.”

“Here, let me help.” He tells her, taking her in his arms as she presses herself against his skin. He carries her into his bedroom, placing her on the ironed linen that smells crisp and clean… it’s magnolia, she thinks she can smell. Or maybe it’s jasmine she can smell. As he lays her down, for a moment he resents that he has to let her go. He wants to keep her in his arms forever, wants to hold her close and to keep her away from the harsh realities of the world and he knows it’s selfish of him because he knows she can manage on her own, but what he’d do to run away with her and to never come back.

“My hair’s still wet, sorry.” She apologizes as he lays her down.

“Don’t worry about that, as long as you’re comfortable and warm enough that’s enough for me.” He smiles earnestly; his eyes soften in a way she’s never seen before as her eyes meet his. She’s lost in his gaze and she feels something she can’t explain. Maybe what she feels is just a combination of tiredness and emotion, but when he places her down she takes his hand and pulls him into the bed with her. She wraps herself up in the sheets, tangles herself in his arms, and rests her head on his chest. His arms completely envelop her as he rubs her skin tenderly, his breathing soft.

He wants to tell her everything he thinks about her, but he knows how she’s felt about men before, and if sex is what she needs to feel better and for her to be close to him, it’s what he’ll take. He can’t risk ruining whatever this is that they have right now, just because he wants her to know just what she means to him.

“When I was in high school,” he begins, interrupting her thoughts. “I used to wear so much cologne, way too much cologne. I thought it made me cool, but it really didn’t. I mean it got me laid, but not always for the right reasons.” He was trying to bare his soul to her and smiles against his chest. 

“I can’t imagine you ever embarrassing yourself,” Melinda says deadpanned.

“Hey,” he scoffs.

“I’m teasing, Phil.” 

_This is bad_ , Melinda thinks, her head resting so she can hear the gentle thud of his heart. She’s getting attached to Phil in a way she can’t go back from and she’s tried this dating before, but each and every time it seems to go awry and someone will be hurt. For now, she cannot shoulder any more pain, cannot take those words if he does not feel the same, so instead, she is content with what she has and loses herself in the moment.

**Author's Note:**

> oops well....there that is


End file.
